Cherish your beloved ones

When I got home that night as my wife served our dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth on the topic. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce... I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer..I had lost my heart to her. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her..

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now..

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper and i went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't  want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce..
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked  me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her  out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy.. Just to make our last days together bearable so I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions... She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully...

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain in my heart..From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.When i looked back at the mirror..i saw how she looked at me without fetching her along..

On the second day, both of us acted much more easier. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her hair.. I realized that I hadn't look at this woman carefully for a very long time... I realized that she is not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was greying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute,I wondered what I had done to her in these past few years..

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life,love and soul to me..

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing deeper again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.But i was wrong..

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed and said, all my dresses had grown bigger. I suddenly realized that its not the dresses that had grown bigger but is it that she had grown so thin that her dresses seemed bigger, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily...

Suddenly it hits me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart and made her suffered.. Subconsciously I reached out,touch and kiss her forehead..She looked at me in a kind of way and i look away as i couldn't bear the pain and hurt she was showing in her eyes...


Our son came in at the moment and said in joyful manner, Daddy, it's time to carry  mum out. To him, watching his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly.I can see tears around her eyes...I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walk from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounds my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly it reminds me of our wedding day..The day when our heart became ONE..

But her much lighter weight made me sad... On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step.I wanted the time to stop here...Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove off to find Dew.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives which it will not happed anymore, not because we didn't love each other.. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart..

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

I dropped by at the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife..Its the same flower i ordered on our wedding day..The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart...I am very eager to see my wife reaction and how happy we will be after this...I planned where should we go for vacations and i promise i will treat her utmost best from now on..Later on when i reached the office i called to the travel agent and booked a holiday package..I took a half day lift and went to the necklace shop and bought her a necklace which she had been longing for a long time...

That evening when I arrived home i wondered why dinner was prepared so early,i went to see and found out she cooked my favourite food..Smile enlighted on my face,I ran up the stairs with flowers and necklace in my hands, a smile on my face,excitement in my heart, i open the door...only to find my wife on the bed - dead...That second,i thought it was just a hallucination...I kneel down,tears forming around my eye and then i cried uncontrollably..i could just hit the floor..I wasn't myself at that moment..When my son came back...only then i calmed down and found out that there was a letter beside her hand...With tears i took it and read it...The letter was addressed to me..

       Dear,

I knew that you already lost your heart to me a few months back,

I already knew about Dew and you but i just couldn't speak up because..

I still loves you very much and i don't want to let our son have a divorced family..

So i kept quiet..all the ignorance u gave last few months truly hurts me..

I celebrated my birthday alone..I bet you didn't know that right..

That night when u came back and u just went to sleep straight without noticing i was waiting for u..i could only cry and cry..

But the last month u gave me was an antidote to all those pain..

When u carried me..it reminds me of our wedding days..

That we were both clumsy but we were experiencing true love that time..

Ten years of our marriage,i had a great time along with great love..

Thank you for giving me a sweet memory and please take care of our son..

                                                                                             Love you..

I carried her for the last time from the room to the hall with tears streaming down my face and gazing at my only son..He asked 'me where is mummy going?'...He is still small..I just said that mummy i going to see the Lord...I couldn't stop my tears..I had lost my love, my wife and a loving and caring mother and nothing I could do now to make the clock backward. I had all the time now to look at her motionless body in detail but I knew it was going to be only for a short while until she made her last journey to the Lord......I held my son and wept again and again thinking of all the things I did not do for her when she was still alive....everything is too late now.....I held the flower and placed gently in her hands with my tears trickling on them........she was gone forever, all my tears would not bring her back..


The SMALL DETAILS of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah..blah..blah. These will create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.. 

I got this email from my dear and it slaps me out of something..I am sorry for what i had done to you..I am sorry..
I LOVE YOU..AND I HOPE YOU WILL BE WITH ME..